Like Foreshadowing, but Less Subtle

I've really experienced a dearth of topics to write on since the presidential election (losing Palin is a little like losing my chi), but 2009 is already bringing in some juicy stuff:

1) all of the dramaturgical work I'm doing for Merchant of Venice
2) the craziness in Gaza, Congo, Somalia, etcetera
3) a renewed attempt to increase my bust size by eating cake
4) a renewed attempt to follow a locavore diet (exempting coffee, chocolate, spices, orange juice, and other "necessaries"), plus my continued foray into bread baking
5) new students to provoke, amaze, and horrify me
6) The Plan: apply for and get into teaching licensing programs so that I can quit the dead end soul sucking no good very bad bookstore job and finally tell people at cocktail parties what I do for a living without feeling like a loser
7) intellectually scintillating discourses on fantasy literature and Battlestar Gallactica, mixed with classier books, in my ever-futile and self-defeating attempt to both embrace and eclipse my inner geekdom

Admittedly, some of these topics are juicier than others. And after reading my friend's much juicier blog, I question my right to even use the adjective. I might resolve this by including salacious details about sexual encounters with foreign booksellers and Fabio.

Fabio flicked his golden mane over his shoulder and stared moodily into my eyes like the dominant lion in the pride. Salivating slightly with lust, he leaned across the table toward my heaving bosom. "Darling," he purred, "The Russians will be here in 18 hours. Let's make the most of the time we have."

To be continued.