Weird Science

Remember when you were little, and you would mix up a bunch of kitchen ingredients or bathroom supplies or backyard dirt and berries in a container like an amateur alchemist, just for the sheer joy of concocting something new? To see what fantastic, smelly potion you and your compatriots could design? And then dare each other to consume?

I still love doing that in the kitchen. These days I don't mix ketchup and vanilla extract on a double dare, and the only mud pies I like are of the Mississippi variety, but I love perverting other people's recipes and making them my own. My father calls this shit cooking, swearing up and down that this is the Yiddish term for kitchen improvisation. I don't know about that. It sounds like an excuse my Russian great-grandmother came up with to justify Sunday night failures. Still, it's the term that rings in my head every time I tie my apron on and set to deconstructing someone else's recipe, and it always makes me smile.

Now that I'm doing a lot of gluten-free baking, my mad scientist urge has to be curbed a bit. All successful cooking relies on chemistry, but GF baking in particular, because the unusual flours, starches and gums are simulating the protein, taste and texture of wheat gluten. Too much brown rice flour can leave pastry chalky and bitter. A heavy dry:liquid ingredient ratio makes for dry, crumbly inedibles. A heavy liquid:dry ingredient ratio yields mushy goods. Plus, you have to use more flavorings and sweetness to mask the flavor of rice and bean flours. A good recipe is hard to come by, and it's tempting to adopt an orthodox attitude when you find one you like.

The thing is, I just can't do that. Why leave well enough alone when you can put your own unique stamp on something, and then feel extra proud when you succeed in producing something delicious? So, after reading a bunch of GF blogs (I love Gluten Free Girl) and the introductions to trustworthy GF cookbooks, I decided to get jiggy with my muffins.

I need to pause here and mention my love for muffins, and pretty much every other carby breakfast treat. I love scones, rolls, buns, biscuits, croissants, tarts, savory pastries, even toast with really good butter, or mashed avocado and lemon juice, or crushed tomatoes and garlic. Breakfast just isn't the same without a wheaty companion, and I've been eying my recent egg and veggie breakfasts with lackluster appetite. So I allow myself to splurge on Sundays, which is when we go to the in-laws for brunch. My father-in-law is a rail of a man who disdains dietary guidelines, and so their house is a wonderland of salty, buttery, white-floured foods. It's pretty much impossible to follow any sort of diet there, and so rather than sit and mope while everyone else indulges (I tried that, and it was terrible), I've started bringing goodies that we can all share.

Truthfully, my goodies have run the gamut from delicious to "eh," but I think this week's sour cream apple muffins with grated coconut and toasted walnuts will be a hit. And what's so cool about them is that they worked--they rose, fluffy and moist, with a tender, slightly sweet crumb--even though I threw a bit of this in and a bit of that in, and basically turned my nose up at the GF gospel of no alterations. I did start with Annalise Robert's phenomenal recipe for a brown rice baking mix (I mix up big batches and keep it in my pantry) and I drew inspiration from her pumpkin muffin recipe and Gluten-Free Girl's sour cream apple muffins. But then I changed the sugar to honey and reduced the amount, added some vanilla extract and cardamom, used pureed apples, added some sour cream and molasses (it gives the apples a kick), and 2 big handfuls of unsweetened coconut and toasted walnuts. The best part? I didn't measure a thing once the leavening and flours were in the bowl.

There's something liberating about using your own kitchen sense to concoct something that will warm people's hearts and tummies, and something so satisfying in recognizing that you're learning to work with new materials, and doing so well. Baking is the best way to set a poor day aright.

Here are my muffins. Enjoy!

Sour Cream Apple Muffins with Coconut and Toasted Walnuts

1 1/4 cups brown rice flour mix
1 teaspoon baking soda
¾ teaspoon xanthan gum
¾ teaspoon salt
½ teaspoon baking powder
1 teaspoon cinnamon
½ teaspoon nutmeg or cardamom
½ teaspoon ground ginger
¼ teaspoon ground cloves
2 large eggs
water as needed
1/3 cup plus 2 tablespoons Canola oil
2 tablespoons molasses
approximately 1 C apple puree or sauce
1/2 C honey
couple handfuls each unsweetened coconut and toasted walnut pieces

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Mix dry and wet ingredients separately. Add the wet to the dry and mix until just combined. Don't leave floury pockets in the bowl, but don't over-mix because this will lead to drier muffins. Scoop batter into a greased muffin tin (go ahead and fill it to the top) and bake for 20-25 minutes, until a toothpick comes out clean when you insert it into the middle of a muffin. Remove from the pan and leave to cool on a rack.

Eat with a warm cup of chai and your sweetie by your side. Or, at least with the chai. Let's get our priorities straight here.