Like Coffee but Seedier

I have a presidential election news addiction. When I'm not working, doing chores, or socializing, I'm on the computer reading about the election. The New York Times and Salon.com are my primary dealers, but I'm not above occasional rendezvous with Yahoo News or YouTube. Sitting with the latest political tidbit has become a comforting habit, like drinking coffee first thing in the morning. I feel wrapped in the world, with the political junkie's pleasing, brainy high. McCain's missteps? Bring 'em on! Obama's elitism? Let's talk! Palin's platforms? Hellooo, mama.

But when, 10 minutes ago, I found myself reading about Palin's expensive wardrobe as though this were her primary flaw as a vice presidential candidate, I had to pause. How much information is too much, and too little at the same time? I think it's funny that the RNC purchased designer pumps for the princess of plumbers, but it's also totally unsurprising and irrelevant. Of course she's wearing expensive clothing. She's a well-off politician who needs to look good right now in front of the camera. Besides, there's no honesty to her "'I'm a real American Joe!" act, anyway. Unless the average American shoots wolves from planes, has her pastor protect her from witchcraft, and absorbs foreign policy experience from geographical pseudo-proximity, Sarah Palin escapes any normative definition of "American." And since her support base is comprised of men who think she's hot (see "Among Rock-Ribbed Fans of Palin, Dudes Rule"), why not dress the part? Her whole bid defies reason; why should what Palin wears make any more sense than the rest of her campaign?

Fluff articles like the one on Palin's clothing only do two things: they provide catharsis for nervous Democrats who fear McCain's come-back potential on Election Day, and they distract readers from real news. Tomorrow morning Republicans will be crying foul about Democratic smears on Palin's pantsuits, and Democrats will be pointing to her outfits as further evidence of Republican dishonesty and the McCain campaign's horrific managerial style. When, of course, none of this matters. Everyone who knows that McCain and Palin are hypocrites will continue to know so, and everyone who disagrees will continue to support Rush Limbaugh's favorite hockey mom. At this point in the this surreal election I wouldn't blink if Palin wandered onstage naked to the soaring chords of "Free Bird" and McCain declared the event a great moment in American feminism.

Point being, why am I reading this nonsense when I should be in bed?

I'll think about that tomorrow. In the mean time, console yourself with this thought: If she does become our VP, at least she'll look good on those lunch dates with Carla Bruni.